‘Warts and all’ about tapering off benzos
I plucked up the courage to do something about my benzo dependence, after seeing PostScript360’s twitter feed. At the time I called them, I was angry, I was ghastly to the woman who answered my call, the receptionist was a saint, she spoke to me for 20 minutes and booked me in for an assessment with a practitioner for the next day. The practitioner explained why it was important to do an assessment, to learn about me and my health needs, again I was not my best. I felt angry, ashamed, and worried that I might not be able to stop my medication. The assessment took around 45 minutes and the following day the practitioner called me for 30 minutes, I spoke about my dependence, why I had been prescribed my medication and why I was taking more benzos. The practitioner worked with me on my taper and support plan and scheduled weekly appointments with me. I looked forward to my weekly appointments, but there were days I hated them because I hated myself.
When I first saw my taper plan, I was shocked of how long it would take to get off benzos. As the month’s past, my taper was OK, there were some days that were difficult, there was no pattern, some tapers I had no withdrawals and other times I felt them, that’s when I really needed the support of PostScript360.
After six months I noticed I was more interested in people, I could watch TV, go for a walk, and I wanted to be outside more, I started doing DIY around the house too. A few months later I heard myself laugh, which had been alien to me for many years. I had 5mgs of diazepam to go and the practitioner invited me to Therapy 300. This is group sessions, at first, I cringed at the idea, but then I thought why not, so far, the charity has not let me down, they know what they are doing, and I trust them. I was nervous meeting other people, we were all so different, but we had one common goal, to be free from this harmful drug. Therapy 300 was inspiring, different, creative which made me flourish and believe in me, it gave me confidence and friendships. I no longer have benzos in my brain or body, I have a social life, friends, and I started jogging. I said goodbye to PostScript360 because I no longer need them.
PostScript360 has treated me with respect, kindness, as an adult, and has been real with me, they questioned me, and let me discover the answer. If you are serious about coming off benzos, do it and get the right support. Life is not a rehearsal, I spent so much time being miserable in my own company, now I intend to live my life and put the past behind me.
Paul’s story 21.08.2022
